We Have The Moon – Till The Morning Comes

Rating: 1/5
Distributor/label: Rockshots Records
Distributor/label URL: http://www.rockshots.eu
Released: 23/02/18
Buy Album: http://smarturl.it/WeHaveTheMoon
Band Website: https://www.facebook.com/wehavethemoon/


Makku – Vocals & Synth,
Morse – Guitar & Backing Vocals,
Corey – Bass & Backing Vocals,
Gedd – Drums & Vocals.


1. Y.D.S.U.Y.S
2. Till The Morning Comes
3. Killer Party
4. Definitely Not A Serenade
5. The Score 0-3
6. 02:00 AM Pasta Break
7. Unreasonable
8. This Is What We Love The Most
9. Lovely Lights
10. A Ghost Friend of Mine
11. Bedtime


As a critic, there’s a rather dull little game that can be played when a new album is dropped in your lap for the first time and it’s one that, over time, you become rather pro at. It’s by no means exclusive to us bastions of (subjective) taste, but when you spend a good portion of your time listening to a steady stream of new music, you do develop an almost instinctual ability to guess the sound of what’s now in your hands. Maybe you’ve not tried it; rifle through whatever your chosen music platform is and have a go. You might surprise yourself (or be pleasantly surprised). Let us know how you get on.

Did you guess any of your choices correctly? Feel that smug sense of self-satisfaction coursing through you? That’s the hollow joy that rose up upon the opening strains of WE HAVE THE MOON’s “Till The Morning Comes”. The moment it fell into the in-tray, the signs were clear. From the album title, to the track names and even the artwork, it all screamed one thing: electronic metalcore. And lo, it was so.

The cheesy synth that heralds the album’s opener (and delightfully-titled) “Y.D.S.U.Y.S.” is pure Stilton on its own without the filtered “motherfucking party” refrain pulsing low. Accompanied by the oh-so typical chunky ‘core riffage that presents itself in the title track that follows, the stall has well and truly been set out. But the opening line of “Raise your hands if you wanna have sex tonight!” in the former is really what sets the tone for the album – it’s far and away the album’s nadir; bordering the realms of being utterly crass and narrow-minded. Any party anthem from down the years has already covered rock’s staple diet of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, but when STEEL PANTHER can sound classy with tongues firmly in cheek by comparison, there are some major issues going on.

Yet it doesn’t end there, oh no. There are further examples that plague the album, including the Grampa Simpson “Can he say that?” moment in “The Score 0-3” (“little girl, shake your ass”). How about a rather coy and sophisticated solicitation of a potential sexual partner in “Killer Party” (“I want to fuck you”)? Or a rather cringe-inducing come-and-get-it shout from “Lovely Lights” (“Hey girls, we’re fucking back in the house”)? And let’s not forget the tender pillow talk of “Definitely Not A Serenade” (which sounds suspiciously like “Are we fucking now?”) – at least that one was rather appropriately-titled. It’s the sort of mindset a horny teenager back in those late high school/early college years might possess, and one that a working adult will find tricky to relate to. Nostalgia-aside, how do you sink into the mindset of when hormones raged, house parties were on the weekly and the liver was supple and ready for the imbibing of copious amounts of alcohol? “Till The Morning Comes” won’t aid that mental throwback much.

Eschewing lyrics, what of WE HAVE THE MOON’s instrumental elements? We’ve already established the fact that there’s chunky riffage and synth forays galore, so how’s the songwriting? Simply put, the chuggy breakdowns, thumping drums and uplifting choruses are competent if unspectacular. It’s not quite CELLDWELLER for melding electronic and metal together, but there’s nothing particularly deal-breaking about the instrumental proceedings. Atop this are the vocals, which alternate between metallic growls, hardcore shouts and possibly the most obnoxious cleans committed to digital recording. That would be bearable if it wasn’t for the atrocious tuning – “Definitely Not A Serenade” exhibits among the most marked steps in pitch shifting this side of T-PAIN. One wonders whether this was done out of necessity or pure irony, but the sneaking suspicion is the former. It’s a shame since the rest of the album has been put together reasonably well – it lacks a degree of impact with those endless breakdown chugs, but it’s at least a clean production.

And yet, despite all that, there’s an almost boyish charm to it – it’s so vapid and boneheaded that it’s just a little bit endearing. The riffs, growls, vocals and electronica may be entirely painted by numbers, but it’s almost enjoyable because of it. The band are clearly having a laugh with what they’re doing and that seems to permeate through the record – can you blame them for that? Even the utterly boorish lyrics feel like they were written to purposefully be vacuous; like the band wrote them to hark to their heady frat-boy days. It hasn’t got the upbeat positivity of (probable spirit guide) ANDREW WK, but “Till The Morning Comes” could feasibly play on in the background at some party, accompanied by the sounds of macho faux-misogyny and beer chugging.

They may perpetuate the whole “party until we die” ethos, but WE HAVE THE MOON’s debut feels somewhat late to the party… To the extent that the lights are up and everyone’s drunkenly saying their farewells and heading home to sleep off the haze and attempt to offset the inevitable death-by-hangover that will greet them upon the morning. “Till The Morning Comes” certainly has a slight quaint charm about it, as well as a degree of solidity in songwriting, but that’s not quite enough to offset the vapidity of the lyrics or the unpalatable vocals. Still, if you’re struggling for music for your rock party and you’ve had a skinful, WE HAVE THE MOON will offer a welcome respite for silence, debate and track fumbling until the morning dawns.